Way back on January 1, 2006, I was rather bored, and decided to make a “choose your own adventure”–style game. My brother and cousin helped me make most of a silly game which was filled with inside jokes and such, but it stagnated since then. Last night I decided that the game must be finished, so I banged out whatever wasn’t done.
I present, with great fanfare, Mall Zombies: Andrew’s Adventure.
There is one—only one—way to win this game. Have fun looking for it, and if you don’t get some of the jokes, you probably were not expected to.
When I wrote these I forgot about my skiing class, and now that my creativity is gone I will let the omission stand. While these are not particularly good, I did have fun writing them.
CS 210 – Machine Organization
There was a professor named Ziegler
Our dear Binghamton circuit wrangler
Do study for his class
And then sit on your ass
At your cushy job as a Googler
GEOG 101 – Introduction to Geography
There was a geographer Margai
From Binghamton—this is not a lie!
Had a TA named Webb
Was a minor celeb
Among geographing alumni
UNIV 280D / PHYS 115 – Great Ideas of Phyiscs
A Binghamton prof went by Pompi
Was characteristic’lly grumpy
A student engineer
Was a pain in his rear
Pompi killed and fried him like scampi
ECON 362H – Honors Macroeconomic Theory
There once was a professor name Jones
Who taught Binghamton student ’bout loans
Although it has been said
His test will leave you dead
Economics gives deviants moans
By the time we got to speak to him, the lack of oxygen was beginning to take its toll and he seemed sluggish and dazed. After indicating ignorance on the first two questions and not answering others … Blaine rallied enough to get off one smart-alecky non-answer.
My experience tells a different story. Roaming New York with a couple of friends last month, we came across a small crowd and a cameraman surrounding David Blaine, who was performing some sort of street magic. When Blaine finished his work and was walking away, one friend, Mark, the lovable pain in the ass, asked “Mr. Blaine, how did you make it rain today?” (It had been raining.) Not at all short of oxygen, but seeming very sluggish and dazed, Blaine went into a long-winded response involving waking up and wanting to masturbate and the gods being angry, except much slower and more painful to listen to.
Stupid questions merit stupid answers, and some stupid answers make me want to sew my ears shut.
Here’s a really geeky t-shirt I designed a few months ago.
An explanation: GNU stands for GNU’s Not Unix, which is a recursive acronym, and is sort of false, since GNU essentially is Unix. NATO, according to the shirt, stands for NATO Ain’t a Treaty Organization, which is a recursive acronym, and is false. Clever? No. But if it was, I would bother with actually making and wearing one.
I expect that nobody would wear one of these, but if anybody actually is interested, they should get the relevant files and take them to their local t-shirt shop, and then send me photos.
College is a place of learning; nobody continues their education unless they really are curious or serious about their field of study. This higher level of maturity makes a world of a difference, because teachers don’t have to fight for the respect of students who don’t want to be there.
Case in point: beer in class. If you have never experienced this, and I assume everybody who is not in that particular class of mine has not, it is a most amazing picture. It is a typical scene of education: the professor is at the blackboard lecturing, the class is seated, scribbling notes and asking questions, and a bottle of beer is on every desk. Except the professor’s, which has two bottles.
(This is fiction – )
- I am going to finish my first year of college in a few weeks. This semester has been a happy one, since I switched from engineering to computer science.
- Real soon, now: Pearl Jam, Stadium Arcadium, home.
- A few fun things are planned for the summer.
More to come on that.
- If not apparent, I set up a bloggish website for myself.
Continue enjoying your May Day.