Personalized Limericks for Sale
I’ve been writing birthday limericks for friends’ Facebook profiles, and decided it’s high time I made some money from my work.
Here’s one I just came up with about myself:
Desperate, Lenny wanted more
So he opened a lim’rick store
He’s not even funny
He’d make better money
If he would just become a whore
I’m not really desperate for money, but you get the idea. For more examples of my limericks, see the ones I wrote a year and a half ago about the professors I had that semester. You may also see more of my limericks on Facebook if you are a friend of my friends.
If you choose to pay less than $1.25, I will round down to the nearest $0.25 and write as many lines as quarters you pay. If you pay more than $1.25, I will still write a standard 5-line limerick—the rest will be considered a tip. In other words:
The subject is your choice. Please fill in the fields below indicating
- Who, and what event or trait of theirs, I should write about
- More information about that person.
Note that limericks tend to be humorous and raunchy, so don’t do something stupid like choosing a death for the event.
If you are dissatisfied with the limerick, please email me to arrange a return. If you have not yet used the poem, you may return it for a full refund, minus any Paypal fees I might have incurred (probably none). If you are unsatisfied with an individual line, please email me for a rewrite or refund.
I might also issue a refund if I’m too busy to write.
For your money you get exclusive license to the poem for personal use or for publication, but not copyright. I may publish the poem, or I may choose not to. If you would rather I not post it, just say so.
The poem will be delivered over email, Facebook, IM, whatever. Probably email.
What a deal!
It sure is, Jimmy. Get ‘em while they’re cheap.
I’ll probably become famous, so expect your purchase to appreciate nicely if you don’t use it.
Is this a joke?
Yes, but it’s also real.