Lenny Domnitser’s

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This is a static archive of the domnit.org blog,
which Lenny Domnitser wrote between 2006 and 2009.

Mr. Blaine’s Perverse Theology

Salon’s gossip column talked to David Blaine, who is currently under water:

By the time we got to speak to him, the lack of oxygen was beginning to take its toll and he seemed sluggish and dazed. After indicating ignorance on the first two questions and not answering others … Blaine rallied enough to get off one smart-alecky non-answer.

My experience tells a different story. Roaming New York with a couple of friends last month, we came across a small crowd and a cameraman surrounding David Blaine, who was performing some sort of street magic. When Blaine finished his work and was walking away, one friend, Mark, the lovable pain in the ass, asked “Mr. Blaine, how did you make it rain today?” (It had been raining.) Not at all short of oxygen, but seeming very sluggish and dazed, Blaine went into a long-winded response involving waking up and wanting to masturbate and the gods being angry, except much slower and more painful to listen to.

Stupid questions merit stupid answers, and some stupid answers make me want to sew my ears shut.