Lenny Domnitser’s

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This is a static archive of the domnit.org blog,
which Lenny Domnitser wrote between 2006 and 2009.

Trains, Douchebags, and the American Way

I ended my summer break with a very brief internship in Manhattan. In my few weeks experience with commuter rail at rush hour, I noticed a very odd behavior in seating. People invariably seemed to favor aisle seats, so rather than sliding over, they did this:

Commuter 1 approaches a row of seats with Commuter 2 seated at the aisle. 2 stands up to let 1 slide in and returns to his original seat.

This is peculiar, but not harmful.

Then one day, a pair of frat boy business students wearing nice suits and drinking cheap beer pull this one on me:

I approach the row of seats with the students, who are sitting with a seat between them. One stands up to let me in between them. They proceed to have a conversation across me.

These two products of American homophobic awkwardness would not sit next to each other, thus not revealing the fact that they are friends. By the time their inane conversation was underway, it was too late. The stereo effect would prevent me from reading until salvation at Jamaica.