Lenny Domnitser’s

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This is a static archive of the domnit.org blog,
which Lenny Domnitser wrote between 2006 and 2009.

Part 1

You’ve wronged me, jar of natural peanut butter. I scoff at the partially hydrogenated oils and added sugars of your pasty cousins, but you have taken oil separation too far. I was opening you, when you spilled upon my cloth chair. Who will look at the stain you left and believe for a moment that it is anything but semen? You have soiled my name (and my furniture), and I have no recourse besides a duel. When the soapy water dries, we will see who is the better man, my cylindrical friend.